Keeping on the Beat

“You’re about as good a drummer as Meg White”

A friend of mine actually said that to me once, after I’d had a particularly rhythm-free go on her drum kit. It wasn’t meant as a compliment. I hold my hands up and freely admit that I am not a great drummer; at the time, I was really, really awful. Since that comment, there was a nine-month period of intense Rock Band practice – I studied an English degree, alright? I had a lot of free time on my hands. So now I’m just moderately bad.

Poor Meg‘s drumming does come under a fair amount of fire; in the critics’ collective defence, it is quite elementary. But is its overt simplicity a bad thing? Not according to bandmate/ex-husband (at last, they’ve finally ditched the creepy “siblings” front) Jack White.

“Her femininity and extreme minimalism are too much to take for some metal heads and reverse-contrarian hipsters,” he told the New York Post. “She can do what those with ‘technical prowess’ can’t. She inspires people to bash on pots and pans. For that, they repay her with gossip and judgment. In the end she’s laughing all the way to the Prada handbag store. She wins every time.”

Granted, her playing does have the “hey, even I could do that!” element to it. But, while it certainly suits the band’s stripped-back approach to songwriting, it’s not necessarily the first thing I’d be aspiring to upon picking up a pair of drumsticks – hell no. I am quite open about my drumming ambitions: what I want is to be able to twirl a drumstick and make it look effortless. I’m almost there. Technical prowess is definitely not mutually exclusive to inspiring people.

Don’t get me wrong, I do think it’s super-sweet of Jack to defend Meg like this (and I do like The White Stripes, in moderation) – it’s just that a back-handed compliment might not have been the best way to go about it. What’s he’s basically saying is, “You drum like a toddler, but don’t worry, love – you make other people want to do the same.” No wonder they ended up divorced.

And money does not always mean success. After all, just look at Paris Hilton.

Yeah, I reckon I could play this: